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Dating/ CLUES OF LOVE/Definitions of Love/Love Questionnaire

What is Real Love?

It's well known more than 50% of marriages will ends up in divorces. And even remaining couples may not all be happy though they stay in the marriage. So it look's like the chance of having a happy marriage is less than 33%, if you follow the way how average people handle their dating and marriage. But why is it happened? And is it real chance to have good happy relationship? But what do we really know about love? And how we know it real love not temporary illusion.

Definitions of Love:

When people become love-struck, what happens in that instant is the couple probably discovers a unique something they have in common. It could be something as mundane as they both were reading the same book or were born in the same town. At the same time they recognize some trait in the other that complements their own personality.

The Good Marriages need to have these four types of love:

Simple Infatuation Romantic Infatuation
Sex Interest Real Love

Even if all of these factors are negative, you can still build a good marriage. But you will have to work harder and be more careful in your mate choice.


  1. Many divorces and unhappy marriages have roots of infatuation and sex interest only.
  2. Most youth are not sure what real love is.
  3. Age and maturity give no immunity of infatuation.
  4. Teen and big age gup marriages have twice the risk that they will end in divorces.
  5. One-sided loves won't work.


Warnings about these clues:

  1. The order is not important.
  2. No clue can stand-alone. All of them are important. Failing one or more does not mean you have to break up with your partner right away. It just means that you two are not ready for marriage and need more time to work them out.
  3. One-sided loves won't work.

CLUE 1.     What is the major attraction?

CLUE 2.     How many factors attract?

CLUE 3.     How well do you know each other?

CLUE 4.     Your life issues Similarities:

CLUE 5.     How your love start?

CLUE 6.     How consistent is your level of interest?

CLUE 7.     How does it affect your personality?

CLUE 8.     How and when does your love end?

CLUE 9.     How do you see each other?

What makes us idealize so much?


No Love is not Blind , but Infatuation is ! Infatuation, like other extreme emotions such as anger, hate, and fear, distorts thinking. Only the passing of time will bring about gradual return to reality. When the ideal bubble bursts - and burst it will - pain and disillusionment sets in.

Again, it pays to be honest. Much of the pain and tragedy of romantic infatuation could be avoided if the couple would level with themselves and with each other. Instead, they hide their faults and misled the other into thinking they are something they are not.

For this they pay an awful price. Perhaps the most important reason for self-disclosure is that without it we cannot truly love. How can I love a person I don't know? How can the other person love me if he doesn't know me? The answer: HONESTY IS A MUST.

Time is the infatuated person's best friend. It is both the great revealer and the great healer. When your heart has been broken, time will heal the hurt.

Time also is the best antidote for the deadly poison of idealization. As interaction increases, knowledge converts the dream image into awareness of the real partner. Awareness punctures the dream bubble and brings the relationship down to earth. Time can shield you from plunging into an unsound marriage on the strength of a mere infatuation. Love that is time tested is the real thing.

Quick Questionnaire "is it love?":

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?
It isn't Love, it's Like.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn't Love, it's Lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't Love, it's Luck.
Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.
Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.
Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't Love, it's Pity.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't Love, it's Friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't Love, it's a Lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't Love, it's Charity.
Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's Love.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Then it's Love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Then it's Love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's Love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's Love.
But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?
Then it's Love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
Then it's Love.
Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
Because it's... Love

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